Moving my blog

I think at some point today I will be moving my blog to a different email and different format. Sorry for the inconvenience :-)

All or nothing

I'm trying a drink tonight for the first time in 3 years. I have been wanting a drink for so long. I'm so tried of living my life in fear of stupid things. If I want a drink every now and then I should NOTHING should hold me back to enjoying my life!!!! It is so easy to take for granted the little things. I have been wanting to go to a resturant for so long and just have a beer or glass of wine with my meal. It's not about getting drunk in any way, it is more about flavor. Somethings just go better with wine. Or a nice relaxing bath with a glass of wine at the end of a hard day. I am of age so that is not a factor.


So far I'm three sips in. I think I'm only going to drink just a little to try out. :-)

Today and yesterday

Today and yesterday went great :-). I got a lot done. LM is being so cute lately she is at that stage of falling a lot trying to walk around. She now says good,good,good when she falls and doesn't get hurt. I love it!! Also need to add I finally broke down and got a Gryo Bowl more like gryo fail. That thing didn't work for a second, total waste of money. Last night me and the husband decied to go out to eat, so we went to Friday's to check out the new menu it sucked we ended up paying for our drinks and went to Denny's instead complete WIN!!! YaY!! Then we went to Wal-mart to try to get Nemo no luck :-( and I forgot to go to FYE to see if they have it about to check out some Ebay to try there. Turns out though might have to get Avatar I was flipping the channels to find something for LM when it was time to cook and it was on LM did not move for 30 mins watching it while I cooked me and her dinner. That is about the only time she watches tv. I believe everything is good in moderation even when it comes to TV. Well I think that is about all I have to Blog about right now just wanted to say write something for today :-)

I Know that I will be better

Thought of this and wanted to share it here.

Someone posted this on a forum I read and just wanted to share this, make me smile. And this helps when I get pissed off at a few women that have kids and don't really care, Or take being a parent for granted, and all of the times I want to go off on people that are pregnant and complain about morning sickness and pain.

I Know I Will Be Better

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss, and though they are good mothers and love their children - I know that I will be better.

I will be better not because of genetics or money, or that I have read more books, but because I have struggled and toiled for this child, I have longed and waited, I have cried and prayed, I have endured and planned over and over again.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to obtain their dreams, I will notice everything about my child, I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover, I will marvel at this miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing I can comfort, hold and feed them, and that I am not waiting to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream, My dream will be crying for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense, that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child, that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child that God leads to me, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured, I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment and I have been betrayed by my own body, I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed, I have succeeded, I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort, I see it, mourn it and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely, I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, or other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth, and when life is beyond hard, I have learned a compassion that only comes from walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes, I will be a wonderful mother.

~ Anonymous

I Just have to do a shout-out to this blog!! The food looks amazing!! Frugal in WV

Frugal in WV: Roasted Red Pepper and Pistachio Pesto for Cheese ...: Ninety degree days in May are just not right. Don't get me wrong I love a little bit of warm weather, but when it is too hot to want to co...

Baby Fever/ Mthfr

These last few months my baby fever has went from a 99 to 105. And LM will be 1 year in 2 months so I'm even more feeling the rush to start trying again here in a few months. (want them 2/3 years apart) Though I keep going back and forth about how I feel about it. When it came to trying to have my first baby things didn't go to great for a while. After one of the miscarriages I was diagnosed with MTHFR. Which by the name it looks like motherfucker and that is EXACTLY how I feel about it. Makes it hard to keep a pregnancy and the possibly for stillborn goes up with having it. Along with endometriosis and ovarian cyst my chances of having a living child keeps going down with the years passing by. Honestly I don't know how I feel about another loss. Of of my last ones put me in a bad state to the point I didn't want to get out of bed. I have my beautiful daughter and also I don't want to put her though it. Then there is the fact that what I have is genetic so there is also the chance of spreading it to my kids. Which I'm not comfortable with that. I'm not sure about the risk vs. benefit of that. Then I feel selfish to try again with the possibility of losing the baby or passing this motherfucker of a disease to them. I don't want them to go though what I do. But I do want kids :-( Also I don't want my daughter to be an only child to me she has to have a sibling. What if something happens to me or my husband I don't want my daughter to go though anything alone or everything to be on her shoulders. This is so hard to decide!!!!!! Also there is the feeling of wanting to be pregnant again. I loved every min of it from the throwing up to the kicks to watching her born and take her first breath. I miss those kicks, (even the bruises that she left because my girl can KICK). I even don't care if I have to take tons of icky vitimens that make me feel blah including the ones that I have to not eat for 4 hours or lay down for 30mins. I would do it all again.

Then again I go though the timing of my pregnancy I don't want to be pregnant in August. That is the month of my bad miscarriage. Also I want to be pregnant again most of summer. I loved the fact I could go in the pool at any time. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe!!!

This really needs to be listened to

The Journey through Miscarriage and pregnancy loss 10/17 by ProgressiveParenting | Blog Talk Radio

Short but not to the point.

Today's other blog is going to be short(I think, I always ramble). I have so much to do in a short amount of time. I always think I take more then what I can handle but I somehow always come out ahead just getting there is the hard part. Though I'm in love with the current project I'm working on, a husband is getting deployed and will not be here when his baby is born or for the baby shower. He wanted a diaper bag made out of his uniforms so working hard on that and I must say I can't wait for the finished product. By the way did I tell you I learned about this yesterday and it has to be done by Saturday. Along with a whole nursery designed and finished by next week. EEEEEEEEE!! Also I have so much scrapbooking and picture editing that my eye balls are about to pop out.

I think after I'm done with this I'm going to take a relaxing bubble bath before I start throwing things around because I can't find one little piece to make my sewing machine work!!!! Its the size of a nickel I might have to rig something up.GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

http://averycan.blogspot.com/ SMAvery :(

First agenda of my blogging for the day is to share Avery. She touched my life in the short amount of time I had been following her. And this Angel I hope will touch your life as well. Please if you stumble upon my blog do me one favor and share her story to spread SMA awareness. Please don't let her live go in vein. And take time to cross some things off your bucket list and add some new ones as well.

http://averycan.blogspot.com/